Episodes

On My Time

HyperZone

It's The X-Stream

MOOOOOODDDDDEEEEE 7!!!!!

This isn’t a long game, nor is it even a memorable game. What it is is a great example of an arcade style game transitioning to a home console properly.

Released in 1991, this game is an on rails shooter to the core. You are thrust into a nondescript space ship and need only the basic understanding that everything else on the screen is a bad guy.

Internal edit: Nvm there IS a story (thanks wikipedia)

“The game is set in the year 2089, where Earth has become unable to support life due to humankind’s ignorance. The Earth Council has turned their attention to the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter – a place virtually untouched by civilization. But a hostile race of cybernetic beings has taken up residence there, and if humankind is to survive, the infestation must be eradicated…”

Just soak that all in folks

The beauty with this game comes in how quickly everything moves (which is critical for an arcade style game). When you move forward, you feel like your ship is really accelerating (moving at 448 speed!! such speed). When enemies come at you, they fly directly at your face & instinctively make you flinch (or maybe that was just me?). When you die, your next ship quickly & nonchalantly moves onscreen and you continue your fight near instantly. You run out of lives? It quickly boots you back to the title to try again. And what ties it all together is the fact that the game itself is only 8 stages total.

Granted the gameplay isn’t that deep. You get access to a laser weapon and, starting in level 2, a charge shot that tears through enemies. That’s it. No missiles, no special weapons to speak of. This could piss off hardcore shoot’em up fans considering that really diminishes the strategy available.

Come to think of it, this would be the perfect game to have as an app on your phone…can someone port this to the Google Play store for me? Or at least build a time machine, and port this to my TI-83 plus?

On My Time

E.V.O.: Search for Eden

It's The X-Stream

“WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!?!?”

This game is weird in a great way. The basic premise is that you are Gaia’s chosen specimen fated to usher in the dawn of future civilizations…a lot of pressure to put on the shoulders (or dorsal fin) of any small creature. Thankfully, you can evolve in the blink of in eye into whatever nightmarish hell-monster you want! Feel like making a fish that has horns bigger than its face? Sure! Feel like making a comically small flying t-rex? Sure! Feel like making a bunny rabbit with the face/jaws of a cat that eventually evolves into early man?!? SURE, go for it!!

But seriously, when you break this game down to its core, it is a game about grinding. You need to grind to get EVO points so you can evolve and have better stats for the later enemies you will encounter. Granted, this grinding is wrapped up in a fun package with bit-sized levels (they may only take you 2-3 minutes to get through each). But, when you realize that you need to get those t-rex mandibles to stand a chance, you’re gonna need to stretch that 2-3 minute playtime into about 15-20 minutes depending on how efficiently you can grind out those 5000 EVO points when some enemies only net you 100 EVO per kill. Have fun!

The game makes up for this shortcoming by allowing you to literally make dozens of combinations of Cronenberg-esque disasterpieces. Or you can be like me and focus on only upgrading your Jaw to the max & leaving the rest of your stats to be upgraded whenever. I say that because the most important aspect of this game is learning how to lock your enemies in place. Once you get certain enemies in a specific position on the level, you can feasibly lock them into never moving or attacking because they continually reel back from your attacks…unless they can fly (stupid flying coelacanth…)

Let me put it this way, if you enjoyed the first half of Spore, then you’ll enjoy this game.

On My Time

ActRaiser

It's The X-Stream

“Sir, I know it’s unexpected, but our people in X-STREAM have something to tell you”

Having been released in 1990, this game is incredibly ambitious for what it is. A combination civ-building simulation & side scrolling beat’em up. When initially hearing about this mashup, I thought it was going to shortchange both of the combined gaming styles to create a subpar experience overall. I was only partially right.

The beat’em up sections are straight forward enough and incorporate a ton of similar elements (if you blur your eyes while playing these sections, you’d swear you were playing Golden Axe). The sections last about 5-10 minutes at most & have the fun mechanic of platforming while not being able to change your mid-air trajectory. Which is super fun when you get to boss sections that have ONLY short-hop platforms to stand on while bombarding you with a flying boss.

The simulation sections are interesting enough in terms of using your miracle powers to clear the areas of obstacles for your disciples or get rid of all enemies on the screen…or just use your power to destroy everything your disciples have built in true civ-building sim fashion (if only you could summon Godzilla…). Problem is, this formula get’s quite repetitive over the 6 different areas:

      • Always direct your disciples to build towards the nearest monster nest
      • Shoot any monsters in their way
      • Move your disciples to the next nest
      • Destroy rocks
      • Repeat

Granted, there are some minor “sidequests” that are sprinkled into each area that will net you a new spell or magic mcguffin that saves someone from something ailing them…unless you’re that guy in the desert (hashtag you will be missed random disciple).  These spells make the beat’em up sections much more enjoyable as you use your spell once, realize you can’t use these unless you have magic scrolls, & save them for use specifically on bosses.

I know I’m coming off as harsh on this game, but it really was enjoyable enough that I wanted to see it through to the end, which is saying a lot for games released in 1990. Incredibly ambitious for the times, and if you happen to find a rentable copy of the game, do it.